Hello Goodbye

Remember meee?!

Yeah I suck as you all have repeatedly told me due to lack of updates. And guess what? Get used to more silence from me- I'm headed in a couple of hours to this tribal healthcare camp of sorts in the middle of nowhere. Soooo basically no internet/phone for 2 weeks. Here is a link to the place- it's run by Hopkins folk so i should be safe :)

http://www.searchgadchiroli.org/

Promise to write in MUCHO DETAIL once i return (I will be keeping a journal while I'm away) on the 26th, then head off to see Shiv and Akhil get married for the 567th time on the 28th.

Merry Christmasssss everyone, I'm so sad to be missing all the festivities. Make sure to drink extra eggnog for me, play under the mistletoe for me, and sit on Santa's Lap for me (except, don't drink too much eggnogg and THINK you are sitting on Santa's lap- that can be a tricky situation as i learnt some years ago).

Love Love Love and Ho Ho Ho

Ps: Here is my our new puppppppy!! He is less than 2 months old and is the love of our life:

Someone feed me

Diwali season is upon us in the motherland and bears much resemblance to Christmas in terms of festivities, family bonding, gifts, diabetes, and fat merry men (well, only if my uncles come home on Sunday- fingers crossed). This also means entertaining superfluous visitors at home who drop by at any time of day or night convenient to them. That’s one thing I love about India- never been one to dislike oodles of company, I love the fact that people drop in unannounced all the time. Apart from giving me the chance to perfect my perfect daughter act, there’s always some element of anxiety that follows as I wonder what they have brought me (usually food, yay!)

This afternoon however, was muy diferente. Homeboy rolls in circa afternoon time and decides to drop a book off for my father (I am immediately not impressed since he brought no food, not even one little laddoo. How I love laddoos. The big yellow ones. Yum :) ). Turns out, he is one of the leading gynecologists in India (yes, HE. Ew) and heads the state’s doctors council. I naturally involve him a conversation surrounding medicine and public health. Over the course of our dialogue, I grew visibly infuriated and started to debate with him to the amusement of my father. Some of the topics were- how he belives that public health is akin to sanitation work- it’s not a real discipline, people who cannot get in to medical school choose public health as a last option, and my favorite- HIV/AIDS is not an issue in India, only 'those Africans' need to worry about it.

Scenes of fight club/gladiator and my taekwondo class were running through my mind as this man spewed his 18th century ignorant bullshit on me- thinking that I would have nothing to retort (given my apathetical generation). I told him about the basic constructs of what public health is, how I chose not to go to medical school, and how India has surpassed South Africa in having the shameful distinction of largest population afflicted with HIV (in pandemic proportions, really). He left soon after my spirited (I thought) argument, although I left out much of what I wanted to say out of respect for the ancient man. As any Indian, I started talking (fuming) about the man as soon as his car hit the driveway (don’t lie, whenever you all went to dinner at some uncle/aunty’s house, you all started to talk smack about everything about them with your parents the second you sat your ass down in the car. It’s ok, it’s innate in you and I. Embrace it).

I have known the general ennui in India with regards to public health for a while now. In a country where kids’ grades determine whether they become bankers or doctors- not personal propensity or desire; where a female is expected to get married before the age of 25 (or else something is wrong with her); and where the general attitude is not to do anything proactively like work out civic, domestic, environment problems and expecting the government to handle it (and later blame the government for every single existing problem); I’m not surprised. But the minute respected, educated, and worse yet- influential people start making ignorant comments such as these, I am appalled. If these people have no concept of some of the glaring health and social issues facing their own country, how is the layman supposed to understand?

I have always been surprised by the lack of general awareness of public health problems in India- be it communicable killers, like HIV/AIDS, or preventative diseases like malaria, TB, diarrhea- to non-communicable ones like diabetes and heart disease. There are embarrassingly few national institutes committed to this cause, while international funding and interest abounds. The first of its kind- masters in public health is just being introduced in the country via 7 national centers in the next two years. Seriously?!? It took this long to realize specialized policy-makers were needed? In the West, it’s popular- trendy even to be interested in a career in public health, while here, the concept is alien, yet the MOST pressing. So many students like myself are involved in projects within the subcontinent, while its own children do not realize the urgency. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is pouring truckloads of cash into the subcontinent in research initiates, while the new supposed ‘richest man in the world’- an Indian, Mukesh Ambani has undertaken no such endeavor to reverse cash flow for a change although his Reliance industries is worth billions.

The mindset of people is what needs a make-over, in order to trickle upwards to the government and important policy-makers, but I don’t know how. I see commercials almost daily from Bollywood celebrities and cricket players telling mothers to take their child to get vaccinated. People attribute this media blitz to the negligible rate of polio now and are busy patting themselves on the back for it. So is that the impetus Indians need? Sachin Tendulkar telling me to do something or else he will beat me up with his willow bat? Shahrukh Khan telling me to take my kid to a local doctor for his OPV or else he will shoot bullets at me with his meticulously lasered dimples? Oy ve.

Bah this has been depressing, yet cathartic for me. I am not sure if I should even post this, but whatever I don’t care at this point. I am tired and hungry. And you know that combination makes me a very cranky girl. Before I leave, shoutout to little homie down below that kept me company as I wrote this in my room. And no, he wasn’t this big- it’s just a really zoomed in picture. Bye!

God of Small Things

As I was sitting at my desk doing work, I suddenly got a fantastic whiff of my favorite smell in the whole world (no, I don’t mean Indian man B.O). Rain! The monsoons are over and the hottest month of the year is coming to a halt (trust me, you never want to experience ‘October Heat’), so this anomalous rain is like a muse for me and triggered my need to write! Some of my most cherished childhood memories in India include getting drenched in the rain, standing on Marine Drive (in Bombay) overlooking the Arabian Sea and squealing as I got hit in both directions by the crashing waves as well as thunderous rain, and generally acting a fool. Now when it rains, I think it’s safe to say we all run to find shelter in the absence of umbrellas in case our hair might frizz (girls (and guys)- I KNOW!), or clothes get wet and see-through, we catch a cold etc. (i.e: Most recently when we ran like fools after getting our hurr did for Shiv’s wedding). Next time it rains, I promise to do a Bollywood-esque rain dance. In a white sari.

PS- i also felt the need to write about heat to rub that fact in as i know you all are freezing your little tushies off :D (or big tushies, whatever i am not going to name names).

Speaking of Bombay, since my last trip there, I have been overwhelmed with the ‘smallness’ of things around me. Some things in mini sizes and quantities are great- puppies, travel accessories, my aunt’s ‘milkshake’ (don’t ask), dresses, shots. Some things in mini sizes are just annoying- loofahs, people (read: midgets and girls in clubs), small food portions when you are hungry and then you order three of them and the waiter looks at you like you are crazy and is making a mental note to ask the chef to at least use ‘I cant believe its not butter’- well you know what, sometimes, a girl GOTTA EAT!!! Sorry. Where was I? Ah yes, small things.

All these things are at least acceptable, but when EVERYTHING around you is tiny, you start to feel like Gulliver. I slept over at my cousin’s place the other day, and the bed was as tall as my knees. Now I am no Amazon woman by any means (that would be Truly Tyler- hehe love you), so this was baffling. My coffee was in a mug comparable to the size my dolls used to entertain their tea party guests with. Bananas are about the size of my thumb (at least I have freakishly long fingers). Even stairs are smaller in size I swear, which leads to there being more of them. All this leads me to believe that I either need to lay off the meth, have become too accustomed to the genetic engineering of fruit, or that these sizes have evolved to accommodate the smaller sizes that Indians come in and hence their appetites and appliances. Even at my own home, I have to lean very low to brush my teeth in the sink, heat something on the stove etc- it’s all just built for those of a smaller build I suppose, which leaves me to needing a chiropractor at age 22.

I conclude hearkening back to my ‘foolywang’ post and would like to add a couple things/phenomenas if you will that I have observed lately that make me question so much yet love everything that is India:

1. Men holding hands with other men without being gay in the least bit. Let me ask the men reading this blog- would you walk around town holding hands with your buddy? Like I mean intimate hand holding- fingers intertwined and such. As Lil Wayne says, ‘no homo’. My brother and I have always had a great time pointing this business out to my mother who laughingly reprimanded us and vehemently supported their apparent ‘innocent friendship’. Now I am not suggesting that the entire male population of India is secretly gay, but homosexuality in India warrants its own post.
2. This is my new favorite thing to watch for as I am in the car- In Pune, most people commute on motorcycles. Some nice friends on these motorcycles decide to help conserve their bicycling friends’ energy by giving them a ride. How it works is that some champ on a bicycle has one hand on his handlebar, and the other on his motorcycle friends’ shoulder and doesn’t pedal- he just uses his friends momentum to ride along. Priceless.
   
   Maybe these guys just really want to hold hands but cant since they are on the move? Who knows, I tried getting pictures of this many times but alas, those blighters are too fast for me.
   
   On that note, I am off- Happy Halloween everyone!!!! Hope you enjoyed my painstakngly festive colors :) How I miss Halloween at Fells Point, Theta parties and watching Chelsea carve pumpkins!!!

One love.

Special Delivery!

I have been freaking out pretty much all day regarding my future plans- school, career, marriage (hah) etc (It’s really great to be living with your parents, you should try it! 2 thumbs up, Siskel and Ebert style. Wait Ebert died. Roper maybe? Ahhh I’m losing it) so I take this welcome break to updated you my loved ones.

My data collection part at work is done! I reached the sample size I needed to (and then some), so now I am left to analyze my results. Since it was a qualitative study (with q/a format- not necessarily multiple choice), it is really hard to wrap my head around all the different responses and form a logical ‘conclusion’. I’ve been having flashbacks to Biostats courses- and let me tell you- they don’t help! Quit Hopkins NOW. I kiiiid, Blue Jay till I die. While I am being a super nerd, let me tell you how incredible the new Microsoft Office is. Effing unbelievable, and I don’t usually get aroused by technology, but writing research papers on it is now fun. OK done.

Once I am done with writing my paper, I’m looking to get it published in the ICMR Journal (Indian Center of Medical Research). Turns out the folks at NARI were actually impressed by my study and want to convert it into a nationally funded study that they will develop over the next couple years. Holla! Guess I wasn’t building sandcastles at high tide (that was a good one, admit it).

My next project is a child malnutrition study, and is modeled after a simple test called the Bangle Test, done in the ’70’s by two WHO guys to test the indicators and incidence of malnutrition in certain populations (half of the world’s child malnourished population is in South Asia). Apart from weight, measurement of the child’s mid-arm circumference is what I will be using to detect malnutrition. The normal mid-arm circumference is fairly static (15-16 cm) from 1-5 years of age- while that of a malnourished child is about 12.6 cm. In the bangle test, a bangle (used because it is very cheap and easily replicable) with an internal diameter of 4 cm is used. If a child’s mid-arm circumference is below normal, the bangle can be easily pushed up the arm- thus implying malnourishment. After this mass screening process, I can isolate children in need of nutritional supplements and proceed onward. Interesting, right? More on that when I begin, can’t wait AND I get to work with kids!

Since I have been writing my paper/ busy being pampered while being sick, I noticed the ease at which a person can live in India (if they can afford it). I don’t just mean the army of maids and chauffeurs, but the expedient delivery of things from groceries to clothing! Not only groceries, but fresh fish, chicken etc too. I wanted to watch a movie, so my mom called the DVD guy to come deliver the movie. I wanted McDonalds, that was delivered to me by a guy in a red and yellow moped. My bloodwork had to be done, the lab guy came home to do THAT, along with the doctor who brought along prescription drugs (Heaven forbid I had to go to the drugstore to get my meds!) If I wanted to buy sarees, the guy from my mom’s store would come in to display his collection. My manicure/pedicure ladies can come home as per my convenience while my dad’s massage guy comes home every Sunday. My brother would even get liquor delivered home with one simple phone call (why waste time in the pre-game if we ran out of booze?) Are Indians just lazy? Elitist? Classist? Ignorant? Or is it a bigger issue- that of surplus manpower. We do have a population of 1.2 BILLION people, and homeboys/girls need to make paper, and do these things HAPPILY. C’est la vie I guess, I’m not complaining too much although it bothers me a little. That reminds me, I have to fire the guy I hired to type my blog for me while I dictated. He never showed up, and now I need a new manicure! Maybe the my cabana boy feeding me grapes and spritzing my face with cool mist can take over? Someday I might conduct an experiment to see how long I can last by not leaving my house, and what I can get delivered. Kind of like the guy who ate at McDonalds everyday for a month to see what health problems he would aquire. What a jackass.

One a final note, I am pleased to announce (thanks to Tiffany) that Johnny Legend is in the studio recording his third album. I don’t think you understand how much JOY this brings me, almost brings me to tears really. That means that next fall-ish I will be a VERY happy girl (also hopefully accepted into a good MPH program) Oh also, Ace of Base and AQUA are reuniting for new albums respectively. Discuss. I am elated. I am celebrating by listening to ‘I saw the sign’. CLASSIC.

Bye ya’ll I miss you too much. Sadly that’s the one thing I would love, but can’t get delivered to me: My lovely friends!

Gotta have faith!

Good morning everyone! Crazy amounts of work, family play time, and schizophrenic internet connection are to blame for my lack of updates, but who am I to make excuses?

I have decided that I am one of those people who eats a shit ton of chocolate when I’m stressed. I didn’t think I qualified considering I am not a 400 pound woman who needs a cord to help me walk from bed to bathroom. But, I have consumed so much in the past hour itself that the golden wrappers have made a golden blanket on my bed. 4 years at Hopkins have not caused me as much stress as the Indian cricket team. I cannot believe I stayed home from work to watch what is possibly the worst cricket performance my team has singularly displayed against the Australians (and trust me, there have been plenty to pick from). That aside, it gives me time to update you all, so I’m not going to complain.

This is a pretty fun time to be in the motherland- September to December is full of festivals, celebrations (AKA more food, yesss). For the first time in a long time, the Hindu festival of Ganesh has coincided with the Muslim month of Ramadan. In a country where you hear so much about Hindu-Muslim riots of late (the Bombay bomb blasts of 1993, or Gujarat riots of 2001), it is touching to hear stories of Muslims breaking their fast with a bite of modak (a popular sweet (that I heart) distributed during the Ganesh festival). I was in Bombay a couple of weeks ago, and in a remarkable case of non-brattiness, I decided to take a cab to commute. The tire got punctured, and I had to switch cabs. It was about 6:20 and my new cab driver was an old, sweet looking Muslim old man. He hesitated to take me in, but sensing my distress (I was hungry, surprise surprise) he let me in. Turns out, he had to break his fast at 6:30 and had been fasting all day long. I felt really bad for him and offered him water that I had (silly Apoorva, he was hungry- not thirsty!) He decided to stop the car, hobble out, pray in a makeshift mosque, grab food and get back in the car in a matter of 10 minutes. He then proceeded to offer food to a girl sitting in another cab (how he knew she was Muslim, I don’t know), but she had fruits which she in turn offered to him. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this story, but I was very touched by his commitment to his faith and compassion for a fellow faster.

In an international display of faith and solidarity of another kind, I was enraptured by the pro-democracy protests in Burma led by the country’s Buddhist monks. I have been a long admirer of Aung San Suu Kyi, and it was an incredibly poignant moment in the revolution against the tyrannical junta when the monks arrived at the house where she has been under house arrest for the past many years. But are protests and demonstrations the most effective form of getting your voice heard and change underway? Tough question- especially when it happens at your own doorstep.

A couple nights ago, we were all asleep at home circa 2 am. I thought I heard voices at the gate, but I assumed it was just another one of my recent lunatic dreams (that’s another story in itself). Turns out, it was a group of about 200 students that were upset with the slow pace of renovations of their dorms. There was more to this story in terms of political aggression against my dad etc, but that’s beyond the scope of this blog at the moment. Thankfully, there were enough security guards present at the gate and didn’t allow the demonstration to continue up the driveway. There were media persons present, complete with cameras recording every moment; urging the students to ‘scream louder’, ‘agitate MORE’ just to have a juicy news story. Everything is resolved now, but it truly begs the question of the drivers for change. Are demonstrations the only way to get your point across in these days in the developing world? Screw developing world, I think we all witnessed the protests against Ahmedinejad’s speech at Columbia last week. We in America tout our freedom of speech etc and have a God-complex over the developing world. Many might applaud Dean Bollinger’s verbal attack on the Iranian President, but I think the victory was Ahmedinejad’s. He knew what he was doing and saying. He knew that unequivocally (in his mind) stating that ‘there were no homosexuals in Iran, etc would appall the ‘developed’ world’ (god I hate that word), and spur an onslaught of debates and hence publicity for HIM! That said, one must consider the cultural context and dichotomy present in thoughts around world, which the East and West just do not accept of the other. There was nothing but ludicrous statements one after the other in his speech, and we must just take it for what it is- foolywang material (yess the word has made a comeback). On the bright side, the protests and debate shows that democratic process is alive and kicking, but is nonetheless disconcerting when it hits this close to home (in my case, literally)!

In non-political news, I am currently listening to Kanye’s new album (albeit a month late), and I must say I am impressed! He is one intelligent cat, and the way he weaves current affairs and pop culture in rhymes is uncanny, I especially like ‘big brother’ and ‘champion’. I went into the store yesterday to buy it (My internet- which doesn’t exist at the moment- has firewalls that don’t allow me to download music, egad) and realized that this was probably the first CD I bought after the spice girls’ 3rd album Spice World. No joke. Actually no, lies, I bought their greatest hits. Nevermind. Point being, I had to ask around for where his CD was in the store, because I was blinded by all the ‘Curtis’ paraphernalia (by the way, I conclude that Fiddy is quite possibly THE most unfortunate looking em-effer I have ever seen, second only to Yoda). Amazing, I think India is the only country where Fiddy’s album probably outsold Kanye’s. Figures as much, crappy cars that do not sell in the overseas market are dropped with fanfare for the Indian consumers, much like good ol’ Curtis’s album.

Speaking of music, explain to me why the Black Eyed Peas and Akon of all people are performing in various venues in India? Actually a more appropriate question is WHO are the foolywang folk showing up to their shit? I will say this though- I am looking forward to my girl B’s (Beyonce, gosh) concert later this month. Shit is going to be hot.

I have a lot more to write, obviously since I haven’t written to you all in 2 weeks. Knowing your attention spans rival that of fruit flies, I will spare you and promise to write more upon my return from Bombay this Sunday. Peace outside kids, and pray for my cricket team, will you? Love love love you all!!!

Want some apaw?

I know, I know it’s been a while since I have updated this piece. My apologies, since I know how you all await what I have to say with bated breath. Ok just kidding, I know you all just want another reason to shirk work.

Lately, I have noticed the sudden surge of non-browns living in my vicinity. Since I live on a university campus, there is always random hippie Russians, Germans etc milling around (instead of finding showers to bathe their dreads in). However, crazy amounts of Asians have taken over the city/country. Historically, the Chinese have been in India since the 1800’s- working in sugar, steel mills as well as being in the shoe-making business (nail salon operating and pirating DVD’s came muuuch later hah). They have all been concentrated in the Eastern part of India though (Calcutta mainly, since India shares a (porous) border with China), so I was surprised to see how many have settled in Bombay/Pune. Not only that, they have foolish Indian accents (I’m being racist, I mean there’s nothing unusual about their Indian accents- they are Indian after all, but it still cracks me UP). I went to a Thai restaurant with the mother dearest (TERRIBLE Thai food btw, hell of in drunken noodle withdrawal, someone please fedex me Bangkok Bistro stat), and the manager/owner guy talked to us in Marathi slash English slash Thai and then offered me an apaw (haha any rush hour fans out here?) Chinese food here is bangin though, spicy and deelish. Little street carts that advertise “Chinness Chikans” with pictures of cross-eyed dragons are aplenty, but eating there will probably give you the HIV (I really shouldn’t be making those jokes anymore seeing my current job), but are cute to look at.

I’m guessing a lot of Indo-Chinese unions are also taking place since there’s a lot of cute kids frolicking the streets. There’s also suspect children being born to Indian parents- case in point: The recently crowned Indian Idol (yes, go ahead and laugh- I watched AND voted. Fuck you, die. Don’t EVEN get me started on Dancing with the Stars- Indian version. Bananas) looks Asian, very suspect. Also, one of my uncles also looks like Shinzo Abe (Japanese ex-PM). Equally suspect. Let’s not get into that, or I will get my ass kicked.

In other news, I have been captivated the past week with cricket action. And no, I don’t mean the fobs playing on the quad at Hopkins (I’m still bitter about the time they refused to let me play, benchods). The World Cup was being heavily contested with the victory belonging to India of course. Like every Indian, I was pretty much glued to my television, and lived life in between various matches. All of you laugh at me on a daily basis due to my obsession with the sport so can I just say how AMAZING it was to be in an environment when it was OK to be a fob? The final was between India and Pakistan and obviously the mood was electric. Offices closed down early to let their employees get home in time, schools are virtually closed, even stores are locked down because of the lack of business they will be receiving (but they also want to be home, eating their khakra and watching the match). My dad was hilarious- he had a speech to deliver for a British delegation visiting India- he hurried through it and left to ‘make a phone call’ when he really just peaced out to watch the match. Awesome.

Speaking earlier of borders between India/China- the most obvious (and contentious) neighbor of India we hear about is Pakistan. So no doubt, when these countries face each other on the cricket field, it is no longer about cricket, it’s about national sentiment and pride. The minute it became clear that India was going to bring the cup home, you could hear fireworks going off EVERYWHERE, followed by people mobbing the streets usually and having impromptu dance parties. Little street children immediately think business and seize the opportunity to capitalize on people’s patriotism and sell little Indian flags on the street (I have purchased some in my day).

Sadly, lines of patriotism and religiousness (is that even a word?) get blurred sometimes and people equate India/Pakistan sentiment with Hindu/Muslim conflict. I don’t want to get into that messy debate now (my mother has been yelling at me to get dinner for about 10 mins now), but I heard a really great quote recently from some poet (wow, descriptive) about the union between Hindus and Muslims (but really, any religion is relevant). Knowing my short-term memory, I can’t recall the exact quote but it’s something to the effect of: In India, we celebrate the point union of 2 lakes that make rivers, or 2 rivers that converge into the sea together since days of yore (Not sure when yore is, but ancient I suppose). So why is it that we do not hold sacred the unions between different religions in the same vein? Hopefully that makes sense in English (it was originally in Urdu, and the meaning might be lost in my translation). I think it is SUCH a beautiful concept, don't you?

Time to make like a tree and leaf, I leave you to enjoy a picture of my winning boys :)

Snaps for the kids!

Hola muchachos!

I have officially learnt (scratch that- taught myself) how to upload videos/pictures from my phone onto my laptop, so rejoooice! I am quite the foolish one when it comes to technology, and I’m not just saying that to sound like ‘that girl’. I have learnt quite a bit of late however and will be happy to help you refragment your hard drive (thanks Ashie!). HAH.

It was the kick-off for yet another religious festival (lasts 10 days), called Ganesh Chaturti so I was in Bombay with the fam at my Grammy‘s home. The last time I was in the country for the festival was when I was a wee little one, aged 11 (same height though) and sooo much has changed in the way the city celebrates. It used to be a largely Maharashtrian festival- celebrated in peoples homes with different prayer ceremonies and fireworks with family, friends etc.

NOW it’s like Bollywood has taken over with garish displays in basically every corner. Television commercials told me that Ganesh endorses a particular cement company, my Telephone company texted me to tell me that I could download my favorite Ganesh ringtones for free. Every political party had billboards with their leaders and Ganesh showering them and hence their constituents with good wishes for the upcoming year. Sonia Gandhi was photographed almost cuddling Ganesh, ridonk. That my whites, is akin to Hillary Clinton dressing up as the Virgin Mary and cradling baby Jesus in her bosom. Cute.

My favorite was the Mumbai police who had little posters everywhere that diplomatically preached ‘Ganesh tells you not to drink and drive’. Seriously!? I thought He didn’t even want me to drink let alone get shitty and need a DD. Even our ancient Gods have grown with time and President Bush still tells us to practice abstinence compared to safe sex. Ok lets not get into that argument now, my head hurts (Could be the just the copious amount of chocolate I have been consuming).

The Grammy is doing well, she is a wee bit (I’m being nice) senile and doesn’t remember much. She is also 640 (and 4‘1“), so a little memory loss is expected. My mother (whose name even Grammy doesn’t remember) urged me to show her my belly button ring in an attempt to jog her memory (she used to be a huge fan of the piercing). Crazy enough, it did, and she laughed and showed it around to everyone else in the fam (most of them were not amused, even my latest little cousin- could also be because she was eating her 56th meal of the day. Lord, she is JUMBO, weighs the same as I and is 10. Ok good. Love her). like the good old days. Adorable little lady.

Speaking of kids, I’d like to think I had a natural magnetism when it came to the critters. They all (strangers and loved ones alike) would flock to me like a moth to a flame with one little smile from me and pull my hair and shit. At a random McDonalds (They have paneer salsa wraps and Aaloo burgers, bananers), I was playing semi-hide-and-go-seek with a little one. This used to be my trademark- after which they would be inviting me to tea parties with their dolls at 4pm. NOW, I think I have crossed the age where they (and their parents) think it’s cute and funny. The little brat looked at her mom all terrified who in turn gave me a stern look. I have crossed the line into pedophilia I think. Damn, I should just invest in 50 cats, inject shit in candy corn, wait for Halloween and call it a night. :-/

Work is going great, I had my first set of interviews today for my study! I didn’t realize how hard this would be. My first patient today was a 23 year old young lady who is HIV+. That’s our age people! Not only that, her little boy is also HIV+. What kills me is that he is 6 years old (which would make her a mother at age 17, eeks). Her husband died of the disease 2 years ago and now she is fighting all alone. I wanted to cry when I heard her story, it’s crazy how people open up when given a chance. For example, her kid was kicked out of school when the administrators found out about his diagnosis. It’s obviously illegal to suspend him from school for this reason, but they found some other ludicrous reason and let him go. After we were done, she introduced me to the little one and I died. I asked him what his name was, he said Hrithik Roshan (a Bollywood actor). In my awkwardness I told him I was Shilpa Shetty. He scoffed at me but then took my hand and didn’t let go for a good 10 mins while I looked at his and her latest CD4 reports.

When I started out this study, I envisioned a quick meeting with parents, get data I needed to put my study together and be done with it. It’s not as easy at it seemed initially when you actually put names, faces, and stories together. Children have been and always will be my weakness (even if they think it’s pedophilia) and seeing them in this plight is awful. Hopefully there’s something we can do soon for little Hrithiks everywhere. Time’s a tickin, maybe we can get Ganesh to endorse our cause.

How many people can you fit on one motorcycle?

The answer at the end of the blog. So keep reading. HAH.

So I didn’t realize how many people actually read this blog of mine (PS I hate the word blog, kind of as much as I hate the word pustule. Or moist. Eeeewww), until I recently started receiving fanmail. Ok it was g-chats, some from family, but whatever, I’m not getting an ego. Now when again is Hopkins going to dedicate the school of public health in my name? ok again, I digress- although I project 2020.

A couple of you asked what my working environment is like/coworkers etc. WELL let me tell you- My day starts at about 9 and we stay in the ‘office’ till noon, then head out on to the field for whatever project we are working on. It’s about 10 of us, 1 computer, 5 chairs. Now you ask, “Hey Apoorva, where do you sit? Oh and where do you keep your lunch (that my mommy makes in the morning, hehe).” I sit my ass down on any available chair (I’m still painfully punctual), much to the remorse of my hairy, fat, I-hate-life-because-nobody-even-online-wants-to-marry-me coworker. She loudly suggested the other day that we should put “name stickers” on chairs for those who have been here for a while, so that no one steals chairs. Now listen love, maybe standing up, or heaven forbid- walking around instead of wheeling your damn chair around wouldn’t be such a miserable idea. And while you’re at it, get yourself waxed/threaded sometime. Maaaaaaybe then someone will marry you. NOTE: I am for sure going to hell for this tirade, but whatever, I knew that already. Oh, and see you all there.

My coworkers however, are harmless. They are straight up from the village, dress in salwar-kameezes, speak maybe one ounce of English, have probably never seen a big city even in India (I‘m not kidding), have happy (?) arranged marriages, and children around the ages of 2-5. I can’t really relate to them on those levels, but I am learning that self-deprecating humor is universal, and they are taking to me for that reason. One of them even made me a special lunch item because mentioned it in passing (how she already knew that the way to my heart is through my stomach, I don’t know). I am being unfair however, there are a couple people that have taken to my charms/awkwardness. So what if one of them has a shamelessly lazy eye that I catch myself staring at alllll the time? I don’t judge. One day however, when we were leaving for meetings, one called me out on carrying around a backpack on BOTH shoulders (GAH, how DARE I!?) and high-fived another friend. I’m so not the cool kid at work.

Enough foolishness (or foolywangocity), let me tell you about the project that I decided to do for the month that I am at NARI. My mentor/boss told me that she wanted me to think of something that I can work on so that I have something to show when I’m done with my stint at the Institute. So I came up a questionnaire/interview that I will be conducting with HIV+ individuals to test the psychosocial impact on their affected and/or infected children. I won’t get in to the details of my study here (you can ask if you are interested), but it is going really well. All this week I had to come up with this survey/hypothesis/same population etc so I had a lot of research to do (the only other study of this kind was done in Malawi) since this is my brainchild and am working all alone. One of my first patients today came with her kid- and the little one’s name was Sakshee! I almost died and told her I have a friend named Sakshee. The precocious little one smiled at me and said she also knows an Apoorva. But he’s a boy. OK good, even little children give me grief on the daily. Damn my parents!

PS: I am really distracted right now because I’m watching a banger of a Cricket match, so I’m going to end this soon. On another foolish note, I have taken to observing what bumper stickers people have on their cars. These are not just ANY bumper stickers however, they are PAINTED on to the back of their windshields (some are statements, some are pictures). My favorite one of the day was a picture of a cricket ball and broken glass (as if it was crashing into the car, pure genius). My other favorite one was one that said “Heaven was full, so I came back.” what the fuuuuck, Guajarati people should NOT be allowed to own/operate/embellish vehicles. It is also raining outside my window, and I need to reiterate how much I love the smell of rain/soil/grass. Deelish.

And the answer to the initial question I posed is 6! Wish I had a camera for this moment, I need to start carrying one around my neck at all times like a Japanese tourist to document foolishness. LOVE YOU ALL LIKE I LOVE DOUBLE STUFFED DOUBLE MINT OREOS!!! (haha Truly)

PS: Uplifting news, and basically my dream job at the UNCF: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6992401.stm

Contradictions

And I’m baaaaack! Hope everyone had a great weekend! I think I officially have issues because over the past couple days, any funny incidents that occurred led me to think about how I need to include that in my blog. I now obvi don’t remember any of these, but wow I need blog rehab.

Bombay was incredible as always. It’s a huge city, and I live in the southern most tip which allows me to drive through other parts en route and sit back and take it all in and slip into nostlagia mode. With a population of about 30M, it is often referred to as the city of dreams- people from all over the country migrate in thousands everyday from little towns for a variety of reasons-- be it higher education, work, cheap labor, and Bollywood, duh…(speaking of which I saw a huge billboard with Shilpa Shetty on it, I’m ok with the comparison now lol)

City of contradictions is more like it rather than the city of dreams. What else would you think if half of that city’s bustling population is living in slums and dire poverty while the other half lives in million dollar apartnments with views of the Arabian Sea? The Economist ran a great article last week (Vy, aren’t you proud of me!) entitled ‘Maximum City Blues’ which mentions a scheme to redevelop a slum called Dharavi (Asia’s biggest slum with a population of 300,000!) which would mean resettling those people into apartments that would be constructed while with the rest of the land being developed into malls, offices and the like. Doesn’t sound like a bad idea except for one problem- Dharavi is a commercialized slum (who knew they existed), but its leather and handicrafts industries bring in millions of dollar in exports. The traders in the slum would be offered space for rent under the new scheme- how many would actually be able to afford this rent however?! Not many I would guess- hah, even slums have contradictions!

Anhoo I digress. I caught up with my friends which is always a good time…you guys would love them, they are ridonkulous. We went to this trendy little restaurant called China Gate for my friend Gunjan’s birthday- terrible food (I was apparently the only one who thought so) , so I drank instead (typical- I really don’t change no matter what time zone I am in). We then went to this new lounge that’s all the rage- China House (Yeah, I don’t know why China was the theme of the evening, nehawma?) It was absolutely gorgeous, full of beautiful women in blink-and-you-miss-it clothing (yes yes freshman year, whatever) - note: I did not say beautiful men- I don’t like the scruffy unkempt, “I straighten my hair and drink my protein powder laced infused vodka” look that EVERY guy in the city has, what the fuck? Needless to say I got into a dance off with a fob (or am I the fob in this case?), made him drop his glass onto his girlfriend as he tried to do the Beyonce booty shake to copy me. Silly rabbit, trix are for kids. Why was I trying to dance with a fob with a girlfriend you ask? I mean, why is the sky blue?

I have a point. I mentioned city of contradictions. Where else can you drive into one of the nicest hotels/lounges in the world right next to decrepit slums? Where else in the world can you drive around in your 7-series that is being chased by little urchins trying to clean your window with a rag for 5 rupees?

We grew up privileged, and I am thankful for that. Most people that you would encounter at these places are South Bombay raised and Ivy-league bred. What is heartening is seeing the reverse brain-drain that seems to be occurring. During the IT/dotcom revolution in the 90‘s (wow we must be getting old if I referred to something as the ‘90‘s…), you saw some of the most intelligent, motivated youth of the city/country leaving to settle down overseas and make tons of money. These days, the same passionate kids are returning to work in India after Boston, New York, Bmore (what what) etc- which is exactly what the country needs to move forward. I mean, I came back right? :)

I felt kind of strange falling back into the Bombay I knew- going out, wasting too much money etc after working with slum kids and AIDS awareness education programs of the past week. Heck, screw city of contradictions, make that my life of contradictions. I thought about this a lot on my drive back to Bombay today. Should we feel bad about the way we lead our life in Bombay? Should I just sit and home, not shop as much, not eat out as much and feel bad about being spoilt? Clearly the answer is no. What is missing from a lot of bratty South Bombay youth is a social conscience. I am not going to sit here and say I am not going to do any of the shit I have been doing anymore. I just want kids to do more with their money and more importantly- time (which is what I have recently learned). Raise money via fundraisers if you have to, volunteer your precious time if you must. Write a check to an NGO, run a marathon for a good cause. Just do SOMETHING. The economic and social divide in the city is appalling, but if we begin in small ways such as this, hey, it’s a start!

Apologies for this sounding like a Full-House episode with a moral at the end but it needed to be said. What can I say, I love me some Olsen twins. Oh and Kimmy Gibler. She was hot. Ok love you ok bye.

Foolywang

I cannot (and will not) come up with any other word besides foolywang to describe the past 3 days. For those of you who do not speak in Ebonics (about 99%), it means 'Someone, something or the act of something utterly whack,foolish or ridiculous' (http://www.urbandictionary.com/). I mean it in the best way possible of course, with an emphasis on the ridiculous.



Wednesday:

It was the festival of Krishna Janmashtmi- the birth of Lord Krishna which is a pretty big deal in these parts. here is the link for the whites :) (http://hinduism.about.com/library/weekly/aa082000a.htm).

ANyhoo, one essential part of celebration is 'dahi handi'- which literally means pot of yogurt. Various pots are set up locally in almost every nook and corner of the city, and groups of guys build HUGE human pyramids to try to break the clay pot suspended at a steep height.

That's all fine, but preceding this is material worth a sequel to 'Indians know how to get down' a very popular website visited by most Hopkins people (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7942583370526412&q=resort%20company). I have videos of the thrusts, fist pumps, flailing about and general tomfoolery that took place, but i need to figure out how to upload videos from my phone.

Thursday and Friday: WORK!

The organization i work for- NARI, works with 6 NGO's and sets up meetings in the community with the help of Peer educators- people who live within the said communities and create a general initial awareness of HIV.

**********Background: Pune is a city in Western India with a population of about 4.5M, with an HIV prevalence rate of 1.8%- this is double the national average and 0.8% above epidemic status! (Whose fault is this? The prevalence of HIV may be highly concentrated in the poorer sections of society, but really this figure is just signifying something else…inequality. However as with most problems, it is easy to blame those who cannot fight back).**********

The first meeting i conducted (with another colleague) was with a group of 11 women from a slum called Kesarvadi. These women have little or no education, and speak only in the native language, Marathi (my Marathi is getting better, i have no choice!) Firstly, these slums are pretty much what i expected- cramped, overcrowded, and filthy. People drink the same water they wash their clothes with and then cook with that too (Chelsea is probably having convulsions right about now!) BUT within these homes i found electricity, fans, flat screen televisions. They also keep their living quarters pretty clean (which really surprised me, compared to the stark difference right outside). They are also some of the most genuine people i have ever encountered- warm and hospitable beyond their means, they offer us tea, food etc although they probably can't afford to feed their own families adequately. PS Props also to the the Municipal Corporation for reaching these slums to set up appropriate water facilities (although i have only seen a few of the slums, this might not be a universal phenomenon). Damn this blog is getting long.

I had one of the biggest shocks of my life when we asked these women if they knew what HIV was. One of them even rattled off the 4 ways HIV is spread (blood transfusions, contaminated needles, mother-to-child, and unprotected sex). These were uneducated yet incredibly intelligent, informed women. I guess this is very telling of the untapped potential in these women. If only their parents had the money and resources to send them to school! After giving them a basic spiel, one of my colleagues asked "how many of you think you should get tested (we had given them the basic "huge reason for you to be at risk for the disease could be from sex your husband COULD be having with other women- possibly sex workers"- which is the main route of transmission of the disease in India btw). they all agreed that they are at risk and should all get tested. But upon asking the next question as to who is going to actually show up to the clinic to GET tested- only 3/11 raised their hands. That i see as the biggest problem. Everyone knows the risks associated with AIDS, but there is such a stigma attached to even GETTING tested and TALKING about AIDS, that not enough people are coming forth to ensure their own (and partners' safety).

There is soooooooooooooooooo much more i want to say but I'm afraid of all your incredibly short attention spans. I am in the process of turning all of this into a research paper for those intersted, so i apologize for the hard-to-read format of this blog, its just a collection of my thoughts from the day with no particular order.

I am off to Bombay tomorrow AM (YAY FINALLY) for one of my friends' birfdays(double yay!!) so i get to see all my loves in the city (and hopefully get to visit some of my usual food stops). PS I'm getting fat. OK good.

Talk to you all sooooon!! Besos!

YAYY!!! Finally figured out how to create my blog!

This blog is specifically intended for my friends and family to keep tabs on what i am upto/will be doing in India starting in September 2007. I hope to provide my own insight (somewhat informative, somewhat humorous) into various public health problems that I encounter in Pune, Mumbai, and all over India through various projects that i will be involved in.

Let's hope i update it often and not retreat to being Apoorva.

I start work tomorrow at the National AIDS Research Institute of India. I will be working in a community health center coming up with strategies to recruit/recruiting discordant couples with HIV/AIDS (either the male or female tests + for HIV/AIDS). Then planning educational sessions within their community as to treatment/prevention, followed by implementing cohort clinical studies. Exciting stuff!

Love and miss you all and keep checking back in between checking to see what Perez Hilton has to say :)