Want some apaw?

I know, I know it’s been a while since I have updated this piece. My apologies, since I know how you all await what I have to say with bated breath. Ok just kidding, I know you all just want another reason to shirk work.

Lately, I have noticed the sudden surge of non-browns living in my vicinity. Since I live on a university campus, there is always random hippie Russians, Germans etc milling around (instead of finding showers to bathe their dreads in). However, crazy amounts of Asians have taken over the city/country. Historically, the Chinese have been in India since the 1800’s- working in sugar, steel mills as well as being in the shoe-making business (nail salon operating and pirating DVD’s came muuuch later hah). They have all been concentrated in the Eastern part of India though (Calcutta mainly, since India shares a (porous) border with China), so I was surprised to see how many have settled in Bombay/Pune. Not only that, they have foolish Indian accents (I’m being racist, I mean there’s nothing unusual about their Indian accents- they are Indian after all, but it still cracks me UP). I went to a Thai restaurant with the mother dearest (TERRIBLE Thai food btw, hell of in drunken noodle withdrawal, someone please fedex me Bangkok Bistro stat), and the manager/owner guy talked to us in Marathi slash English slash Thai and then offered me an apaw (haha any rush hour fans out here?) Chinese food here is bangin though, spicy and deelish. Little street carts that advertise “Chinness Chikans” with pictures of cross-eyed dragons are aplenty, but eating there will probably give you the HIV (I really shouldn’t be making those jokes anymore seeing my current job), but are cute to look at.

I’m guessing a lot of Indo-Chinese unions are also taking place since there’s a lot of cute kids frolicking the streets. There’s also suspect children being born to Indian parents- case in point: The recently crowned Indian Idol (yes, go ahead and laugh- I watched AND voted. Fuck you, die. Don’t EVEN get me started on Dancing with the Stars- Indian version. Bananas) looks Asian, very suspect. Also, one of my uncles also looks like Shinzo Abe (Japanese ex-PM). Equally suspect. Let’s not get into that, or I will get my ass kicked.

In other news, I have been captivated the past week with cricket action. And no, I don’t mean the fobs playing on the quad at Hopkins (I’m still bitter about the time they refused to let me play, benchods). The World Cup was being heavily contested with the victory belonging to India of course. Like every Indian, I was pretty much glued to my television, and lived life in between various matches. All of you laugh at me on a daily basis due to my obsession with the sport so can I just say how AMAZING it was to be in an environment when it was OK to be a fob? The final was between India and Pakistan and obviously the mood was electric. Offices closed down early to let their employees get home in time, schools are virtually closed, even stores are locked down because of the lack of business they will be receiving (but they also want to be home, eating their khakra and watching the match). My dad was hilarious- he had a speech to deliver for a British delegation visiting India- he hurried through it and left to ‘make a phone call’ when he really just peaced out to watch the match. Awesome.

Speaking earlier of borders between India/China- the most obvious (and contentious) neighbor of India we hear about is Pakistan. So no doubt, when these countries face each other on the cricket field, it is no longer about cricket, it’s about national sentiment and pride. The minute it became clear that India was going to bring the cup home, you could hear fireworks going off EVERYWHERE, followed by people mobbing the streets usually and having impromptu dance parties. Little street children immediately think business and seize the opportunity to capitalize on people’s patriotism and sell little Indian flags on the street (I have purchased some in my day).

Sadly, lines of patriotism and religiousness (is that even a word?) get blurred sometimes and people equate India/Pakistan sentiment with Hindu/Muslim conflict. I don’t want to get into that messy debate now (my mother has been yelling at me to get dinner for about 10 mins now), but I heard a really great quote recently from some poet (wow, descriptive) about the union between Hindus and Muslims (but really, any religion is relevant). Knowing my short-term memory, I can’t recall the exact quote but it’s something to the effect of: In India, we celebrate the point union of 2 lakes that make rivers, or 2 rivers that converge into the sea together since days of yore (Not sure when yore is, but ancient I suppose). So why is it that we do not hold sacred the unions between different religions in the same vein? Hopefully that makes sense in English (it was originally in Urdu, and the meaning might be lost in my translation). I think it is SUCH a beautiful concept, don't you?

Time to make like a tree and leaf, I leave you to enjoy a picture of my winning boys :)

Snaps for the kids!

Hola muchachos!

I have officially learnt (scratch that- taught myself) how to upload videos/pictures from my phone onto my laptop, so rejoooice! I am quite the foolish one when it comes to technology, and I’m not just saying that to sound like ‘that girl’. I have learnt quite a bit of late however and will be happy to help you refragment your hard drive (thanks Ashie!). HAH.

It was the kick-off for yet another religious festival (lasts 10 days), called Ganesh Chaturti so I was in Bombay with the fam at my Grammy‘s home. The last time I was in the country for the festival was when I was a wee little one, aged 11 (same height though) and sooo much has changed in the way the city celebrates. It used to be a largely Maharashtrian festival- celebrated in peoples homes with different prayer ceremonies and fireworks with family, friends etc.

NOW it’s like Bollywood has taken over with garish displays in basically every corner. Television commercials told me that Ganesh endorses a particular cement company, my Telephone company texted me to tell me that I could download my favorite Ganesh ringtones for free. Every political party had billboards with their leaders and Ganesh showering them and hence their constituents with good wishes for the upcoming year. Sonia Gandhi was photographed almost cuddling Ganesh, ridonk. That my whites, is akin to Hillary Clinton dressing up as the Virgin Mary and cradling baby Jesus in her bosom. Cute.

My favorite was the Mumbai police who had little posters everywhere that diplomatically preached ‘Ganesh tells you not to drink and drive’. Seriously!? I thought He didn’t even want me to drink let alone get shitty and need a DD. Even our ancient Gods have grown with time and President Bush still tells us to practice abstinence compared to safe sex. Ok lets not get into that argument now, my head hurts (Could be the just the copious amount of chocolate I have been consuming).

The Grammy is doing well, she is a wee bit (I’m being nice) senile and doesn’t remember much. She is also 640 (and 4‘1“), so a little memory loss is expected. My mother (whose name even Grammy doesn’t remember) urged me to show her my belly button ring in an attempt to jog her memory (she used to be a huge fan of the piercing). Crazy enough, it did, and she laughed and showed it around to everyone else in the fam (most of them were not amused, even my latest little cousin- could also be because she was eating her 56th meal of the day. Lord, she is JUMBO, weighs the same as I and is 10. Ok good. Love her). like the good old days. Adorable little lady.

Speaking of kids, I’d like to think I had a natural magnetism when it came to the critters. They all (strangers and loved ones alike) would flock to me like a moth to a flame with one little smile from me and pull my hair and shit. At a random McDonalds (They have paneer salsa wraps and Aaloo burgers, bananers), I was playing semi-hide-and-go-seek with a little one. This used to be my trademark- after which they would be inviting me to tea parties with their dolls at 4pm. NOW, I think I have crossed the age where they (and their parents) think it’s cute and funny. The little brat looked at her mom all terrified who in turn gave me a stern look. I have crossed the line into pedophilia I think. Damn, I should just invest in 50 cats, inject shit in candy corn, wait for Halloween and call it a night. :-/

Work is going great, I had my first set of interviews today for my study! I didn’t realize how hard this would be. My first patient today was a 23 year old young lady who is HIV+. That’s our age people! Not only that, her little boy is also HIV+. What kills me is that he is 6 years old (which would make her a mother at age 17, eeks). Her husband died of the disease 2 years ago and now she is fighting all alone. I wanted to cry when I heard her story, it’s crazy how people open up when given a chance. For example, her kid was kicked out of school when the administrators found out about his diagnosis. It’s obviously illegal to suspend him from school for this reason, but they found some other ludicrous reason and let him go. After we were done, she introduced me to the little one and I died. I asked him what his name was, he said Hrithik Roshan (a Bollywood actor). In my awkwardness I told him I was Shilpa Shetty. He scoffed at me but then took my hand and didn’t let go for a good 10 mins while I looked at his and her latest CD4 reports.

When I started out this study, I envisioned a quick meeting with parents, get data I needed to put my study together and be done with it. It’s not as easy at it seemed initially when you actually put names, faces, and stories together. Children have been and always will be my weakness (even if they think it’s pedophilia) and seeing them in this plight is awful. Hopefully there’s something we can do soon for little Hrithiks everywhere. Time’s a tickin, maybe we can get Ganesh to endorse our cause.

How many people can you fit on one motorcycle?

The answer at the end of the blog. So keep reading. HAH.

So I didn’t realize how many people actually read this blog of mine (PS I hate the word blog, kind of as much as I hate the word pustule. Or moist. Eeeewww), until I recently started receiving fanmail. Ok it was g-chats, some from family, but whatever, I’m not getting an ego. Now when again is Hopkins going to dedicate the school of public health in my name? ok again, I digress- although I project 2020.

A couple of you asked what my working environment is like/coworkers etc. WELL let me tell you- My day starts at about 9 and we stay in the ‘office’ till noon, then head out on to the field for whatever project we are working on. It’s about 10 of us, 1 computer, 5 chairs. Now you ask, “Hey Apoorva, where do you sit? Oh and where do you keep your lunch (that my mommy makes in the morning, hehe).” I sit my ass down on any available chair (I’m still painfully punctual), much to the remorse of my hairy, fat, I-hate-life-because-nobody-even-online-wants-to-marry-me coworker. She loudly suggested the other day that we should put “name stickers” on chairs for those who have been here for a while, so that no one steals chairs. Now listen love, maybe standing up, or heaven forbid- walking around instead of wheeling your damn chair around wouldn’t be such a miserable idea. And while you’re at it, get yourself waxed/threaded sometime. Maaaaaaybe then someone will marry you. NOTE: I am for sure going to hell for this tirade, but whatever, I knew that already. Oh, and see you all there.

My coworkers however, are harmless. They are straight up from the village, dress in salwar-kameezes, speak maybe one ounce of English, have probably never seen a big city even in India (I‘m not kidding), have happy (?) arranged marriages, and children around the ages of 2-5. I can’t really relate to them on those levels, but I am learning that self-deprecating humor is universal, and they are taking to me for that reason. One of them even made me a special lunch item because mentioned it in passing (how she already knew that the way to my heart is through my stomach, I don’t know). I am being unfair however, there are a couple people that have taken to my charms/awkwardness. So what if one of them has a shamelessly lazy eye that I catch myself staring at alllll the time? I don’t judge. One day however, when we were leaving for meetings, one called me out on carrying around a backpack on BOTH shoulders (GAH, how DARE I!?) and high-fived another friend. I’m so not the cool kid at work.

Enough foolishness (or foolywangocity), let me tell you about the project that I decided to do for the month that I am at NARI. My mentor/boss told me that she wanted me to think of something that I can work on so that I have something to show when I’m done with my stint at the Institute. So I came up a questionnaire/interview that I will be conducting with HIV+ individuals to test the psychosocial impact on their affected and/or infected children. I won’t get in to the details of my study here (you can ask if you are interested), but it is going really well. All this week I had to come up with this survey/hypothesis/same population etc so I had a lot of research to do (the only other study of this kind was done in Malawi) since this is my brainchild and am working all alone. One of my first patients today came with her kid- and the little one’s name was Sakshee! I almost died and told her I have a friend named Sakshee. The precocious little one smiled at me and said she also knows an Apoorva. But he’s a boy. OK good, even little children give me grief on the daily. Damn my parents!

PS: I am really distracted right now because I’m watching a banger of a Cricket match, so I’m going to end this soon. On another foolish note, I have taken to observing what bumper stickers people have on their cars. These are not just ANY bumper stickers however, they are PAINTED on to the back of their windshields (some are statements, some are pictures). My favorite one of the day was a picture of a cricket ball and broken glass (as if it was crashing into the car, pure genius). My other favorite one was one that said “Heaven was full, so I came back.” what the fuuuuck, Guajarati people should NOT be allowed to own/operate/embellish vehicles. It is also raining outside my window, and I need to reiterate how much I love the smell of rain/soil/grass. Deelish.

And the answer to the initial question I posed is 6! Wish I had a camera for this moment, I need to start carrying one around my neck at all times like a Japanese tourist to document foolishness. LOVE YOU ALL LIKE I LOVE DOUBLE STUFFED DOUBLE MINT OREOS!!! (haha Truly)

PS: Uplifting news, and basically my dream job at the UNCF: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6992401.stm

Contradictions

And I’m baaaaack! Hope everyone had a great weekend! I think I officially have issues because over the past couple days, any funny incidents that occurred led me to think about how I need to include that in my blog. I now obvi don’t remember any of these, but wow I need blog rehab.

Bombay was incredible as always. It’s a huge city, and I live in the southern most tip which allows me to drive through other parts en route and sit back and take it all in and slip into nostlagia mode. With a population of about 30M, it is often referred to as the city of dreams- people from all over the country migrate in thousands everyday from little towns for a variety of reasons-- be it higher education, work, cheap labor, and Bollywood, duh…(speaking of which I saw a huge billboard with Shilpa Shetty on it, I’m ok with the comparison now lol)

City of contradictions is more like it rather than the city of dreams. What else would you think if half of that city’s bustling population is living in slums and dire poverty while the other half lives in million dollar apartnments with views of the Arabian Sea? The Economist ran a great article last week (Vy, aren’t you proud of me!) entitled ‘Maximum City Blues’ which mentions a scheme to redevelop a slum called Dharavi (Asia’s biggest slum with a population of 300,000!) which would mean resettling those people into apartments that would be constructed while with the rest of the land being developed into malls, offices and the like. Doesn’t sound like a bad idea except for one problem- Dharavi is a commercialized slum (who knew they existed), but its leather and handicrafts industries bring in millions of dollar in exports. The traders in the slum would be offered space for rent under the new scheme- how many would actually be able to afford this rent however?! Not many I would guess- hah, even slums have contradictions!

Anhoo I digress. I caught up with my friends which is always a good time…you guys would love them, they are ridonkulous. We went to this trendy little restaurant called China Gate for my friend Gunjan’s birthday- terrible food (I was apparently the only one who thought so) , so I drank instead (typical- I really don’t change no matter what time zone I am in). We then went to this new lounge that’s all the rage- China House (Yeah, I don’t know why China was the theme of the evening, nehawma?) It was absolutely gorgeous, full of beautiful women in blink-and-you-miss-it clothing (yes yes freshman year, whatever) - note: I did not say beautiful men- I don’t like the scruffy unkempt, “I straighten my hair and drink my protein powder laced infused vodka” look that EVERY guy in the city has, what the fuck? Needless to say I got into a dance off with a fob (or am I the fob in this case?), made him drop his glass onto his girlfriend as he tried to do the Beyonce booty shake to copy me. Silly rabbit, trix are for kids. Why was I trying to dance with a fob with a girlfriend you ask? I mean, why is the sky blue?

I have a point. I mentioned city of contradictions. Where else can you drive into one of the nicest hotels/lounges in the world right next to decrepit slums? Where else in the world can you drive around in your 7-series that is being chased by little urchins trying to clean your window with a rag for 5 rupees?

We grew up privileged, and I am thankful for that. Most people that you would encounter at these places are South Bombay raised and Ivy-league bred. What is heartening is seeing the reverse brain-drain that seems to be occurring. During the IT/dotcom revolution in the 90‘s (wow we must be getting old if I referred to something as the ‘90‘s…), you saw some of the most intelligent, motivated youth of the city/country leaving to settle down overseas and make tons of money. These days, the same passionate kids are returning to work in India after Boston, New York, Bmore (what what) etc- which is exactly what the country needs to move forward. I mean, I came back right? :)

I felt kind of strange falling back into the Bombay I knew- going out, wasting too much money etc after working with slum kids and AIDS awareness education programs of the past week. Heck, screw city of contradictions, make that my life of contradictions. I thought about this a lot on my drive back to Bombay today. Should we feel bad about the way we lead our life in Bombay? Should I just sit and home, not shop as much, not eat out as much and feel bad about being spoilt? Clearly the answer is no. What is missing from a lot of bratty South Bombay youth is a social conscience. I am not going to sit here and say I am not going to do any of the shit I have been doing anymore. I just want kids to do more with their money and more importantly- time (which is what I have recently learned). Raise money via fundraisers if you have to, volunteer your precious time if you must. Write a check to an NGO, run a marathon for a good cause. Just do SOMETHING. The economic and social divide in the city is appalling, but if we begin in small ways such as this, hey, it’s a start!

Apologies for this sounding like a Full-House episode with a moral at the end but it needed to be said. What can I say, I love me some Olsen twins. Oh and Kimmy Gibler. She was hot. Ok love you ok bye.

Foolywang

I cannot (and will not) come up with any other word besides foolywang to describe the past 3 days. For those of you who do not speak in Ebonics (about 99%), it means 'Someone, something or the act of something utterly whack,foolish or ridiculous' (http://www.urbandictionary.com/). I mean it in the best way possible of course, with an emphasis on the ridiculous.



Wednesday:

It was the festival of Krishna Janmashtmi- the birth of Lord Krishna which is a pretty big deal in these parts. here is the link for the whites :) (http://hinduism.about.com/library/weekly/aa082000a.htm).

ANyhoo, one essential part of celebration is 'dahi handi'- which literally means pot of yogurt. Various pots are set up locally in almost every nook and corner of the city, and groups of guys build HUGE human pyramids to try to break the clay pot suspended at a steep height.

That's all fine, but preceding this is material worth a sequel to 'Indians know how to get down' a very popular website visited by most Hopkins people (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7942583370526412&q=resort%20company). I have videos of the thrusts, fist pumps, flailing about and general tomfoolery that took place, but i need to figure out how to upload videos from my phone.

Thursday and Friday: WORK!

The organization i work for- NARI, works with 6 NGO's and sets up meetings in the community with the help of Peer educators- people who live within the said communities and create a general initial awareness of HIV.

**********Background: Pune is a city in Western India with a population of about 4.5M, with an HIV prevalence rate of 1.8%- this is double the national average and 0.8% above epidemic status! (Whose fault is this? The prevalence of HIV may be highly concentrated in the poorer sections of society, but really this figure is just signifying something else…inequality. However as with most problems, it is easy to blame those who cannot fight back).**********

The first meeting i conducted (with another colleague) was with a group of 11 women from a slum called Kesarvadi. These women have little or no education, and speak only in the native language, Marathi (my Marathi is getting better, i have no choice!) Firstly, these slums are pretty much what i expected- cramped, overcrowded, and filthy. People drink the same water they wash their clothes with and then cook with that too (Chelsea is probably having convulsions right about now!) BUT within these homes i found electricity, fans, flat screen televisions. They also keep their living quarters pretty clean (which really surprised me, compared to the stark difference right outside). They are also some of the most genuine people i have ever encountered- warm and hospitable beyond their means, they offer us tea, food etc although they probably can't afford to feed their own families adequately. PS Props also to the the Municipal Corporation for reaching these slums to set up appropriate water facilities (although i have only seen a few of the slums, this might not be a universal phenomenon). Damn this blog is getting long.

I had one of the biggest shocks of my life when we asked these women if they knew what HIV was. One of them even rattled off the 4 ways HIV is spread (blood transfusions, contaminated needles, mother-to-child, and unprotected sex). These were uneducated yet incredibly intelligent, informed women. I guess this is very telling of the untapped potential in these women. If only their parents had the money and resources to send them to school! After giving them a basic spiel, one of my colleagues asked "how many of you think you should get tested (we had given them the basic "huge reason for you to be at risk for the disease could be from sex your husband COULD be having with other women- possibly sex workers"- which is the main route of transmission of the disease in India btw). they all agreed that they are at risk and should all get tested. But upon asking the next question as to who is going to actually show up to the clinic to GET tested- only 3/11 raised their hands. That i see as the biggest problem. Everyone knows the risks associated with AIDS, but there is such a stigma attached to even GETTING tested and TALKING about AIDS, that not enough people are coming forth to ensure their own (and partners' safety).

There is soooooooooooooooooo much more i want to say but I'm afraid of all your incredibly short attention spans. I am in the process of turning all of this into a research paper for those intersted, so i apologize for the hard-to-read format of this blog, its just a collection of my thoughts from the day with no particular order.

I am off to Bombay tomorrow AM (YAY FINALLY) for one of my friends' birfdays(double yay!!) so i get to see all my loves in the city (and hopefully get to visit some of my usual food stops). PS I'm getting fat. OK good.

Talk to you all sooooon!! Besos!

YAYY!!! Finally figured out how to create my blog!

This blog is specifically intended for my friends and family to keep tabs on what i am upto/will be doing in India starting in September 2007. I hope to provide my own insight (somewhat informative, somewhat humorous) into various public health problems that I encounter in Pune, Mumbai, and all over India through various projects that i will be involved in.

Let's hope i update it often and not retreat to being Apoorva.

I start work tomorrow at the National AIDS Research Institute of India. I will be working in a community health center coming up with strategies to recruit/recruiting discordant couples with HIV/AIDS (either the male or female tests + for HIV/AIDS). Then planning educational sessions within their community as to treatment/prevention, followed by implementing cohort clinical studies. Exciting stuff!

Love and miss you all and keep checking back in between checking to see what Perez Hilton has to say :)